As A Christian, I Am Unashamed Of My Mental Health Medications
"Why would you need to take medication if you believe God can heal you?" "Your faith must not be strong enough if you're taking medication instead of surrendering it all to God."
Those two sentences are the two sentences I hear most often as a Christian. There's plenty more people have to say about this particular subject; you name it, I've heard it. Being a Christian while simultaneously dealing with mental illness is one of the most controversial topics among the mental health community and the Christian community. The stigma behind being a Christian while dealing with mental health disorders is much larger than most people would expect. As a result, this also happens to be one of the topics I feel most passionate about.
First of all, I would like to address the topic of healing. It is defined clearly as the process of making or becoming sound or healthy again. The term is used widely among the Christian community as God is known very well for His power of healing. Unfortunately, there are a very large number of people that focus so much on miraculous healing, that it has placed a very large stigma behind Christians taking mental health medications. I have personally dealt with the feelings of shame and humiliation for admitting my mental health disorders and medications for treatment to some of my fellow Christians. Most of the time, it was because they believe so much in the miraculous healing concept, that they question why I’m taking my healing process slowly. I would like to make one thing clear about the healing process.
God is God, and He is good regardless of the outcome of any circumstance. He chooses when the right time of healing will come to an individual. Healing can take place either miraculously (upon prayer from other's or prayer from the individual asking for healing), over time, or the day the individual dies and is to spend an eternity in heaven, as heaven is the one place suffering does not exist. Everyone heals differently. Some prefer to take their time and work through things slowly. Others prefer to work through everything much more quickly. Some are blessed with being healed miraculously.
I personally prefer to work through things slowly. I have dealt with a great deal of trauma and pain. For the first few years that I started dealing with mental illness, I pushed most of it aside and figured that meant I was dealing with it. As time went on and more traumatic events took place, the pile of ignored baggage got much bigger than I would have expected. Eventually, I was standing underneath it while it came tumbling down on top of me, all at once.
As most people know, Christians believe that God created earth as a whole, and created every single individual thing, living and existing on it, with great thought, care, and detail. With that being said, God also created individuals with a particular purpose. He created my counselor with the passion for wanting to see the people she loves recover. He created my psychiatrist with the compassion and patience of treating me for the last 6 years. He created educators with the zeal to train my counselor and my psychiatrist to treat people like me. He created scientists that have found ways to create thousands of mental health medications to help people like me. He created resources to help people like me in the healing process that He ultimately handles.
The choice to begin taking mental health medications was made primarily between my mother and I. Being under 18, you need parental consent to begin any kind of anti-psychotic medication as the risks and side effects are much greater. I don’t remember how the conversation went between the two of us. The only thing I do remember was walking out of the doctor’s office with her and a prescription for Zoloft in my hand. I recall not wanting to tell anyone I was on such a medication. I thought that the day you started taking medication for your mental illness, was the day it was considered too severe to deal with. While that’s the case for some people, others take it for minor cases; others don’t even take it for severe cases. Everyone reacts differently to mental health medications. I know several people that swear Zoloft saved their life. I swear that Zoloft made everything worse for me. Just like someone reacts differently to a pain medication than another person, mental health medications work differently for everyone.
For the first few years I began my journey of finding the right combination of medications, I was very ashamed of the entire concept. I was ashamed of admitting that I felt like I was dying inside. Part of the Christian community contributed to the shame because of the fact that they made me feel as if my faith was not strong enough. Many people believe that if your faith is strong enough, God will heal you. If He does not heal you, your faith is not strong enough. In no way is this biblical; it leads people in the wrong direction of God and what He is truly about. Your amount or depth of faith does not contribute to how or when God decides to heal you. Your faith is not any less than the person standing next to you in the pew just because God chose to heal them but not you. In the same way, my faith is not any less than the person standing next to me in the pew just because I take medication for my mental illnesses but they don’t. God does not look down on me with shame or disappointment because I’m taking medication. He does not see my faith as any less because of my decision.
Between the time I began Zoloft and eventually found my current combination of medications, I tried four other medications; all of which either didn’t work, or I reacted negatively to them. Seven medications, five counselors, one medical doctor, and two psychiatrists later, I have finally found what works for me. What my current two medications are, is not important, because if I’ve learned one thing in all of this, it’s that it could all very well change at any moment in time. My current medications may stop working, thus putting me on a new journey to finding the next right combination for me.
There is one important thing I would like to point out, and that is the fact that I do not rely on my medications as a whole. My medications are not my main source of healing or recovery. My faith comes first; it is my main source of healing. The medications, therapy, and physical activity all come after. My anti-depressant provides a little less emotional fog during my days. The days seem just a little bit brighter because it provides me with just the right amount of motivation I need to make it through each day. My mood stabilizer enhances the effects of my anti-depressant, while also treating me for my anxiety disorders and sleep disorder, both of which are the two main contributing factors to the majority of the remaining mental illnesses that I have. It has been 6 years since I began taking this combination, and I don’t ever want to imagine what my life would like if I wouldn’t have started it. Heck, I probably wouldn’t be alive.
All of this has been made possible because of God. He is the reason why my medications have done their job. He is the reason why I have made the amount of progress that I have. If you currently take mental health medications or are considering the option, please remember that you are not any less of a person for your decision. If you are a Christian and you are currently taking mental health medications or are considering the option, your faith will not be any less as a result of your decision. If you know someone that is currently taking mental health medications or is considering the option, please remind them that you will support their decision in their healing process as long as they seek the right kind of guidance and treatment. Please remind them that you do not view them as any less of a person, or Christian, for their decision.
If you or someone you know needs support right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, or text START to 741-741
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