Why Those With High Functioning Mental Illness Should Never Be Overlooked
High functioning mental illness is often overlooked due to the fact that those particular individuals are able to function and perform daily tasks better than others who also suffer from mental illness. Someone who does not function at a high level is often unable to hold a steady job, maintain personal relationships or friendships, and gain the motivation to get out of bed each morning. Take for example the commercials you see on television for medications such as Abilify. The individuals portrayed in an Abilify commercial are typically unable to leave the house, they have depression written all over their faces, as well as not wanting to interact with their families. An individual that functions at a much higher level is able to perform the complete opposite. They are often able to hold steady jobs and the personal relationships or friendships that they have tend to be healthy. The peers that surround someone with high functioning mental illness often express that they either had little to no idea that the individual suffered from such severe mental illness. Someone suffering from high functioning mental illness is less likely to express how they are feeling to those around them.
The term 'high functioning mental illness' was not something I was familiar with until just recently. My counselor used the term to describe me during one of our sessions. I never thought I was much different once I found out mental illness was going to be a part of my life. I would look at those in front of me that were vividly suffering, and didn't see much of a difference considering we all had one thing in common, the concept of depression and constantly feeling worthless. As time went on, it eventually became discouraging. If someone suffering that badly was showing it, then maybe my severity level wasn't as bad as I thought since I wasn't showing my suffering. The definition of my depression is major depressive disorder, meaning that the severity level is very high. No one knew that I was suffering because I always felt as if I was a burden for expressing when I needed help. I had a job, I maintained healthy friendships and relationships, and as much as I did not want to get out of bed each morning, I did. So did that mean I wasn't actually sad? Did that mean that I actually didn't want to die?
Those closest to me know the depth of how much I truly struggle on a day to day basis. However, I have a very difficult time expressing that to those I've just met, or don't have a very close relationship with. I have my days in which I feel happy. It might have been a good day because nothing triggered a PTSD episode and I didn't think about relapsing into my self-destructive behaviors. But other days are an incredible struggle. Sometimes I just can't hold back the tears and I need to be able to express how sad I feel. There's only one problem with doing something like that. No one takes you seriously. If I take the time to express how I'm truly feeling to someone I might not have a very close relationship with, they usually respond with, 'that really doesn't sound like much fun. I'm sorry.' That seems to be the duration of the conversation and it's left at that. My feelings and emotions are not taken into consideration because they are not expressed on a regular basis. When people ask for my diagnoses, six out of eight of them are in the severe category. Even after explaining that, some still don't believe I'm telling them the truth.
Depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc., among adolescents is typically seen as the teenager who is struggling on a day to day basis, is unable to get out of bed to make it to school, which therefore begins to develop failing grades. Mental illness is put in a tiny little box with a particular list of symptoms. The lid goes on, and the box goes into storage without a second thought. No one gives a second thought about mental illness coming in all shapes and sizes. The box of symptoms is much larger than anyone could ever imagine. When looking at the stereotype of an adolescent with mental illness, no one sees the teenager taking AP classes, participating in several extra curricular activities, and pulling a 4.0 GPA for their four year high school career. Those teenagers are never taken seriously and their symptoms are very often overlooked. By overlooking those who don't fit in that small box stored away, we are overlooking the treatment and validation that they deserve.
For years, this is what I believed. It was imbedded in my head that I didn't deserve recovery. By people overlooking my high functioning mental illness, I felt as if that part of me was not valid in any way, shape, or form. I believed in my heart that I didn't deserve treatment. I do not have 'sufferer of mental illness' written on my forehead. I'm often told that if I would have never mentioned the fact that I suffered from mental illness, they never would have guessed that it was present in my life. I love to laugh, I love to make others laugh, and I love ensuring that those around me are happy. As a result, most people believe that I am just an average person living a normal life without any serotonin imbalances. Through counseling, I have come to realize many things. At this stage in my life, it all comes down to one thing;
The functioning level of my depression, anxiety, PTSD, and other diagnoses, does not determine the severity levels of any of them.
Anyone that makes you believe anything other than that, should have no place in your life. I refuse to allow anyone to continue making me feel as if my illnesses are not as valid as anyone else's. I refuse to be ignored. I will always stand up for those suffering in the way that I am. I will never stop fighting for those that are being overlooked.
If you or someone you know needs support right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, or text START to 741-741
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