Going Outside is Not Going to Cure Me

"If I was a doctor, I wouldn't prescribe you anything until after you tried being outside regularly." "Medications don't do half as much in terms of making you happy as being outside does.” "Why don't you just spend some time outside, that always helps me?"

I'd be lying if I said I don't laugh at people who say these kinds of things. My generation seems to have a lot more people who are willing to find a new adventure, go outside, climb a rock, jump off of a cliff, camp in the middle of nowhere, or discover a new hiking trail. I absolutely love it, because we definitely prove anyone wrong who says that our generation spends too much time inside or too much time on our electronic devices. The only problem is that the people I most commonly hear those kinds of statements from, are the people from my generation. None of those things are going to cure my depression. None of those things are going to make my PTSD or anxiety miraculously disappear. None of those things are going to convince me my body is worth more than destroying it with an eating disorder. I'd like to set one thing straight before we go any further.

Going outside and exploring does nothing to cure me. Being outside makes me feel a little bit more cheerful. I hate being stuck inside all day long. This world has so much to explore, and I want to see it. However, mental illness is a physical chemical imbalance. For some people, nature cannot suddenly turn that imbalance around and cure them.

Don’t get me wrong, endorphins are a great thing. They make me feel fantastic. For some, the sunlight makes them feel significantly happier. I cannot stand the sun. I hate the heat, and I hate it when there are no clouds in the sky to cover the thing. I am all for new adventures, seeing the world, and being outside. But that will not cure me. Mental illness varies between every single individual suffering from it. I believe there are three main components to mental illness and its cause; physical, chemical, and spiritual.

I watched this awful video one day that made me want to scream. It was some doctor who was all about natural remedies and exercise as a cure to everything. To be clear, I am not against natural remedies, but I do not believe they can solely cure mental illness. I felt like I was watching something that was basically telling me that if I didn’t go outside, I was not going to be cured. The doctor stated that the pharmaceutical industry has come up with these drugs that they say cures mental illness, or can at least help, so that they can make more money off of people like me. He also stated that doctors buy into it and will tell you that those medications will work, so that they can make money off of people like me who keep coming back for more. I honestly cannot describe to you in words how angry it all made me.

People put mental illness in such a small box. That box is made up of the things only they think makes up mental illness or what they think it is. People look at mental illness and think, being outside will cure you and if you aren’t outside, you will not be cured. Since mental illness is not the same for any one person, that’s where it becomes part of the stigma.

When I first watched the video, I felt ashamed. I felt ashamed for taking my medications and looking at them as something that really does help me get through my days. As time went on and I thought about it more and more, I realized that there is no reason why I should feel shame. Just because what works for someone else doesn’t work for me, doesn’t mean I’m doing something wrong and it doesn’t mean I’m making less progress than anyone else.

I go outside. I have seen the world. I have seen over half of the states. I have been to Europe twice. I have seen Mexico, England, Poland, Czech Republic, Croatia, Hungary, Germany, and Austria. I have seen the breathtaking scenery of Norway and Sweden from the air and the beautiful country side of Slovakia and Slovenia from the window of a train. I have stared at the Alps and the Adriatic Sea in complete and utter awe. I’ve seen some of the most beautiful places this earth has to offer.  Yet, here I am, still depressed, still plagued by anxiety and PTSD, still struggling with an eating disorder and occasional thoughts of relapse. I will openly admit that if I went out for a walk, a run, or even just sat outside, I would feel a little bit better. But that does not mean I am happy, nor does that mean that I have been cured if I do so. I don’t want to exercise, and most of the time I don’t want to put in the effort or time.

See, depression does this awful thing called taking any kind of motivation you have to do anything, and throwing it away. For some people, getting up and going outside to go for a walk, a run, a hike, or just to sit there, is literally the most exhausting thing they will ever do. Depression convinces them that it’s too much work and it isn’t worth it. It causes an incredible amount of fatigue, and anyone who has ever experienced fatigue, knows that the last thing they want to do, is move more than they have to.

For those of you who ever plan to become a doctor, please do not deny people like me the accessibility to mental health medications just because you believe they don't help as much as nature does. If you do not believe in the remedy, see patients who are looking for a natural remedies doctor that specializes in exercise recommendations and natural remedies for a cure. People like me believe that mental health medications have been a lifesaver. The individuals, who suffer from mental illness because of a chemical imbalance, should not be denied that resource.

We would never tell someone with cancer or a physical illness to go outside because it will cure them. We would never tell someone with cancer or a physical illness that the reason why they are not cured is because they don’t spend enough time outside. Mental illness is a physical chemical imbalance in the brain, so I am confused as to why the mental health community hears it on a regular basis.

Please understand that I do not choose these illnesses. If I did, going outside would cure me, because there would be nothing physically wrong with my brain and the way that it functions. Please understand that going outside can and will help make me feel better, but it will never cure me. Please understand that I do believe it can cure some, but not all. Please understand that by telling someone with mental illness to go outside and they will be cured, makes them feel shame; it makes them feel as if they are doing something wrong and that is the reason why they are not well. If you know someone that is struggling, please encourage them to go outside to get some fresh air. But please don’t ever guilt them into doing so, or make them feel bad for not doing so. We are doing the best that we can.

If you or someone you know needs support right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, or text START to 741-741

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